Feed the babies, burp, clean and cuddle
My body was tired, mind was fuddled
But
I was fine.
It was a continuous cycle with no break
This feeling of despair I couldn’t shake
But
I was fine.
They, the house, the family demanded my time
Couldn’t I have five minutes that were mine
But
I was fine.
I felt ugly, fat and bloated
My self-confidence was completely deflated
But
I was fine.
At times I wanted to scream and shout
Cry buckets or hide or simply walk out
But
I was fine.
One hour of rest and peace a day
Impossible, as afternoons they wanted to play
But
I was fine.
There were days when I wanted them not
And hated myself for such an ugly thought
But
I was fine.
Nobody told me that motherhood was tough
Others made it look easy, not a day that’s rough
But
I was fine.
It made me think, something’s wrong with me
May be a mother I wasn’t meant to be
But
I was fine.
These thoughts plagued me for years
In my heart and mind lived these fears
But
I was fine.
Today I am in a better place
Finally, I have a real smile on my face
Truly now
I am fine.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

2 COMMENTS

  1. I have been through this… such a true story of motherhood about a topic people just talk so casually…

    • Oh! So sorry to hear that Fatema. But in a way good that we are opening up about it. Since i wrote about it i have really been better. And to know that i was not the only one.

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